Wednesday, August 30, 2006

HOW CRIMES GET SOLVED

It is true that the majority of crimes never get solved, that the majority of criminals are never labeled criminals, but Ogle is not the type of person that would be able to accept that, else he would not be doing his job, he has to believe. So when Danny came up to him and told him that the lab results put Andre dead circa 3am in the morning, Ogle couldn’t stop thinking about the rock and the trunk and so he decided to get his best detective on the case. When he couldn’t locate Lauren through her cell phone he decided to call Audrey to ask where she might be. What he heard put some dampers into his investigative approach, “Captain she wasn’t feeling well I thought it best she take a rest and with some lovely help from the sisters at the Convent of the Holy Virgin Mother Mary she is getting the spiritual treatment which has been lacking in her life.” Ogle rubbed his head, maybe hoping that doing so would change what he had heard, “Convent of the Holy Virgin Mother Mary” it didn’t.

At least the lab report supported the evidence of an accident. Or so Danny reported to the captain, “Andre died of wounds perceived, by us coroners, to be caused by car crashes, and he was not touched by the rock, as I might have supposed which would have implied that a rock thrown at a moving vehicle might have created the conditions for the accident. More disturbing perhaps for you and your investigators Captain is that apparently the rock was something that did check in after the accident and for sure not before or during.” “Are you certain of that Danny?” “Yes sir, a moving vehicle would have created a scratching pattern on the shattered glass, there was no such evidence, the car was still upon the rocks impact, further evidence that the point of breakage and the point of where the rock landed inside of the compartment are perfectly aligned, had there been movement the trajectory of the rock and its landing site would not be perfectly aligned as is precisely the case.” Captain Ogle was always impressed and soothed by Danny’s lab reports, they were always so impeccable, they added so much comfort and he needed a lot of comfort right now so he wanted to hear more certainty, so he asked on, “Did you find anything else?” “Yes we did, and that is the part that I did not want to tell you sir.” Captain Ogle makes a quick impatient face and flaps his fingers, “come clean Danny!” “Well sir I did a cross check for fingerprints to the pulley and the trunk and the FBI crime lab report concretely shows a perfect match with one called Habakkuk.” “Fuck!” “Fuck me some more Danny!” Danny complied “Besides that the Volvo is registered under his name.” “Shit!” And the captains desk got a bruising too. Danny felt that he should go since this was now really the part of the case that had to do with the living. He didn’t say goodbye or excuse me, he just walked backwards refusing to give his back to the captain, until he had long cleared the office door.

While the captain was busy putting together an investigative team that now would not include his best detective, things continued to happen at the Convent of the Holy Virgin Mother Mary.

Mother Superior Adelaide is in the room waiting for Habakkuk to come to, but she hears a wild knock at the door, so she deposits her thoughts in some mental savings account, and goes to open the door. Habakkuk is not in a coma he is just profoundly asleep, the reader might have noticed that he has not had time to rest, we can do this because he is not a member of the actors guild, he can even drink alcohol within the chapters and no union can stop us. Right now we need him to rest. Mother Superior Adelaide opens the door and before her is this egg type face, cracking all over with uncooked yoke leaking in every direction, it is Cornelia, she is bursting with something to say, she wants the Mother Superior to come more out of the room, into the hallway, “What is wrong with you sister?!” Nun Cornelia’s egg face cracks into woes, “Sister Bertha is dead, she is dead Mother Superior DEAD!”

Mother Superior Adelaide and sister racing to the basement, the door opens, fortunately the light is already on, as they move down the stairs they see quite the scene, two bloodied women, one on top of the other, could easily both be dead too, and the fat glob Bertha missing one eye which lays by her side, missing one eye which lays by her side, (all together now sing with me,) missing… oh stop it you guys this is serious. Mother Superior Adelaide is not singing, she walks slowly towards Nun Bertha or what is left of her here on earth, right about now she probably has already been recruited in some heavenly choir which will soon be introduced to a lemon of a song; Mother Superior Adelaide still with us touches her neck, leans her head on her chest, she hears nothing, she senses death. She rises, while the wobbling egg follows her over to Lauren and Antoinette, who are not dead, just worn-out; Mother Superior Adelaide first uses the tip of her shoe to feel their bodies, and just as she pricks their flesh with her overly clean white shoe, the bodies partially move but collapse again. “Help me Cornelia, help me lets grab this one.” And so they grab Lauren and drag her up the stairs and drop her in her old room. And then they go back down to the basement, and pick up Antoinette, and also drag her up the stairs, not caring how much bruising is done in the process, and posit her next to Lauren in that bed that is made for only one of anything. They sort of create a locked door situation by using some furniture to secure the door that someone had earlier broken down; and then they rushed back down to the basement.

There, Mother Superior Adelaide looks at Nun Bertha with a sort of “what a mess,” feeling, and then without asking for further help from Cornelia she takes the body and drags it near the staircase. Together they clean up the bloody mess. “Now Sister Cornelia you just follow my lead and say nothing you understand.” Cornelia pouting a little as if not being able to say anything to anyone is really going to be a difficult life long challenge, “Yes Mother Superior Adelaide I swear by you on the holy bible.” Pointing upwards and forward Mother Superior commands, “Go ring the assembly bell!”

The entire nun cadre assembles in the mess hall, obligingly reverent and mostly silent, I count about thirty of them, Mother Superior Adelaide takes center stage, they all surround her, “There has been a couple of unfortunate accidents in this convent in the last few hours; two cars have crashed within our sacred premises, the police are kindly taking care of that matter, but now sisters, now I must tell you some terrible news, our beloved sister Bertha has fallen from the basement stairs and taken herself to our lord.” The nuns all stare at each other, incredulous phrases fly like doves in a central plaza, Mother Superior Adelaide ushering a few tears, “…it is a most unfortunate of happenings, these events taint our convent, trouble us, and cause us grief, we must pray for forgiveness, for the love of god, and for our convent…” Spiritually the place ratooned with prayers and the nuns turn to each other for blessings, and “Sisters, I pray with you, we are as one…” they all turn towards their loving leader Mother Superior, “…we must, we must for god’s graces and for his sake not taint these walls with more policemen, with more investigators, with more outsiders and strangers, such vibrates and shakes the holiness of our foundation, we must purge this place of strangers who only seek to dilute our faith with their secular ways, we must bury our Sister Bertha in silence, and grieve her in our solitude and carry her into eternity within our hearts.” “Yes, yes…” the clamor does the rounds, the nuns want peace and devout silence, they are with their mother superior, and in procession they go forth to dig a silent grave, and there they place the body of their fallen sister without a tombstone. A session of prayers follows and a brief mass where they promise to plant a big oak tree on her grave.

While all these is happening parallel to it in the same convent, our beloved Lauren and Antoinette have woken up to find one another covered in blood, at first their eyes were trying to affirm that they were seeing what they were seeing, then their hands decided to affirm as well that they were feeling what they were seeing, and the two bloodied women began to gently kiss, covering each other with gentle saliva happenings, reaching for comforts of the body, mindful of the strange fragrances produced by sweat, blood, tears and warm sweetness pouring forth as drawn by one another’s essence. Lauren whispers love into Antoinette’s ear, and a sucking moment of her nipples, and then a touching of their spiraling breaths, and their bellies rubbing without space in-between, their thighs intertwined involved in feeling, the bed accurately made for one of both; when their external barricades too, began to noisily tumble down, it was Habakkuk searching for the statue.

What he saw when he looked in was not a statue, it was better than that, frankly he liked what he saw, he wasn’t into moving sperm up through his spine anymore, he was in fact so busy noticing the embrace and the flesh sins before him that he did not even notice the blood, nor panic did he, he was seduced; only Antoinette reached to cover herself with the blanket, Lauren knew this guy so she was just a little startled, she kind of realized that this might be a little out of character, “Habakkuk!” “Lauren.” But when Habakkuk said “Lauren.” he said it sweetly, he was looking at her nipples and trying slowly to catch more eye stuff, that’s probably why Lauren turned into and held Antoinette as if they were both going to guard against this vile man through their mutual aura embrace. Habakkuk alerted by the defensive maneuver realized that they were not there for him, and said explicably, “I am searching for the statue, the sacred statue.” Lauren was really no longer superstitious, she really wasn’t into this sacred statue thing anymore, something about being a murderer and sleeping with another woman that just stops all superstition, cold. She looked at Habakkuk like one looks at an adolescent that is still trying to figure girls out, she then turns to see Antoinette while uttering backwards, “You’re searching for the sacred statue…” she looks more closely at Antoinette, who has now figured these two know each other, and Lauren kisses Antoinette, she gives her a fat juicy kiss, and Antoinette returns the wet kiss, and suddenly a Loki cat enters the room and jumps on the bed between them, the bed, remember, that fits only one, and Loki just sits there like he was home again.

Loki does bring more sense into the two lovers, they realize that they have been prisoners in this convent, they quickly grab Loki, holding hands they stand up to face Habakkuk, “Habakkuk we have to get out of here, forget the statue, forget it, we need to get out of here.” Habakkuk insistent replies, “Lauren we can’t forget the statue, the world will end, the world will end Lauren.” Oddly Lauren had somehow lost her ability to want to rescue everyone, “Habakkuk the world is going to end anyway, fuck the world, we need to get out of here before those nuns spot us again.” She looks at Antoinette who really hasn’t figured anything out except that she really likes Lauren, “If he wants to stay he can stay, we are getting out of here right?” Antoinette responds by kissing Lauren on the cheek and smiling while bringing herself closer to her arm. They search a closet and there they find three monk tunics, which have been there for eons, maybe all the way back to the seventh century, they put them on, Habakkuk too, Antoinette grabs Loki cat and the three monks, two showing a bit of women hair, run away from the convent, pass the water fountain and head for safety.

As they make their way through the loosely vegetated hills that surround the convent, they hear sirens roaring. They look back to see three police patrol cars reaching the convent. They make it to Antoinette’s house, and there they sleep the sleep of the just. Habakkuk and Loki on the couch of course.

The next day, after the two lovers kiss each other breakfast, Lauren goes back to the police station, Captain Ogle can’t believe his eyes. “Where have you been?” “On a spiritual retreat Captain.” Ogle could see his detective was looking rather warm and calm and happy even, for some reason he had never seen her happy before, she was happy now, this was the first time he had seen Lauren truly happy, he felt good about feeling her this way. “I did hear that you were in a spiritual retreat at a convent, I went there to save you, but they denied that you were ever there.” He said that somewhat quizzing her. Her joyful self responding, “Ogle you know I am not very religious, wouldn’t catch me in any convent, please.” He mustered up a vociferous laugh, to join hers, “yeah, you in a convent… can’t imagine that.” But then jolted by instant recall he abruptly pauses, points his finger at her, “Hey, hey wait a minute, your friend Habakkuk where is he?” Lauren gets serious too, “Habakkuk? Habakkuk?” “Yes, yes Habakkuk, I have a warrant out for his arrest, we think he caused an accident, we found his finger prints all over the place, his car, a Volvo killed some guy at this convent where you were supposed to be. And now I have a warrant for his arrest for skipping the crime scene, possible manslaughter, and, and not notifying police.” Lauren returned to her happy self, poking her fingers against the wall, “I don’t know cap, don’t know where he is, we sort of lost contact, maybe he is back in India, he likes to go there a lot, something about the food, he loves Indian cuisine.” “Oh horseshit Lauren you’re trying to protect him, I know you.” “Am I really captain, now why would I do that, I don’t even know anything about this car crash, you’re all surprises today, I am telling you, go to India, you will find him there, it’s a good bet.”

Upon returning to Antoinette’s place, which was now hers too, Lauren advises Habakkuk to go to India. He said he wanted to go to New York instead, he had never been there. “Habakkuk why didn’t things turn out as we thought they would?” Asked Lauren. “We changed the future when we interfered, tellingly the future is always changing, one day we go to our fortune-teller Lauren, and just by her becoming aware of what is going to happen to us she changes everything.” Antoinette had now heard the whole story, they were all sitting sipping some delicious tea and wafting cucumber sandwiches, they humored over the events, Antoinette giggled a little at the thought, “…predictions change the future…” then she paused and asked, “Habakkuk will this thing the Akashic remember Bertha’s and Andre’s murders?” Lauren got a little shiver from the comment, but she was equally curious, Habakkuk responded, “They will be recorded in the Akashic Archives for all to witness.” Lauren concerned, “How will all those that will witness the Akashic judge us Habakkuk?” Lauren had never killed anyone in the line of duty, so she wasn’t used to her new self, Habakkuk responded sincerely, “Don’t worry Lauren, you and I have no judgment awaiting us, when ever anyone gains access to the Akashic records and sees all the crimes that we have committed, they also see all the crimes that they have committed and humanity has committed; it is the surest path to forgiveness, in essence all those that review the records forgive everyone so as to forgive themselves.” Lauren became a little superstitious again and breathed a sigh of relief. While Loki just watched as if nothing had changed, not the future, not the past and certainly not the present.

Habakkuk borrowed some money for a ticket to New York and went on his way. Antoinette and Lauren sat on the couch kissing and fondling one another, when Antoinette got up and said, “I got you something.” Lauren joy stricken, “What did you get me?” With that, Antoinette grabbed her monk tunic from a nearby chair, and from one of its pockets extracted a cross. Lauren immediately recognized it, Antoinette jumping next to her on the couch, kisses the cross and hands it to her, “Its from the room where we first loved.”

Habakkuk bought a ticket to New York. It did not take long for him to arrive, while landing he saw that remarkable and so precise Lady Liberty, her arm reaching high above “torching the heavens,” her expression emotionless and characterless, he remembered an almost identical statue from circa 7th BC. Habakkuk, once, had never been to New York, now he had, and like most new comers, Times Square was a spot he had to witness, he went, with only pennies enough to buy himself a coke, it was a snowy winter. He went to see the grand center capital of the world, he looked all around at the dizzying lights and graphic depictions of the best life, and he somberly caught his shoes on the pavement, falling unpleasantly into freshly powdered snow.


The lies end here